"A Transformative Gloomy Day in Los Angeles"

 

“A Transformative Gloomy Day” By Diana Moreno

It was an early gloomy morning in Downtown Los Angeles  
I saw the L.A. skyline, the lifeless, colorless clouds set the mood. I felt my bones drained from the company next to me and
The city's chaos, the acidic, sour and bitter taste of toxic wasteful energy surrounding me,

The ugly truth of an absent father, the decision to abandon the gift of magical bubbles percolating inside of my womb.

My soon to be the apple of my eye. I will hold you in the warm gentle breeze on a summer's day.

It was the first time I tasted peace, once the miserable and anxious person left the Silver Toyota 4Runner truck we were in.
I was left alone with my thoughts in the gray back seats, noticing a different sensation I've never felt before.
Feeling the taste of tranquility after the storm, intuitively connected to the

known possibility, that my body was optimistic, about this aliveness, the reality that I will become a mother.

My Reflective nature centered on the natural flowing electricity, prickling and vibrating, fluttering sensations occurring inside of my injected body. 

I felt it, the raw radiant energy, you know, that glow that people notice in women when life is
developing inside of them... After everything I witnessed. The look of your decaying eyes made me let go.

It was time, time to disengage, to cut off the invisible umbilicord attached to death.
The smell of fire behind me. I feel my heart turning against me. I see ashes dropping everywhere in a downward spiral.

I am emotionally bruised. What if, black turns to gray, I thought, sorrows fading away, hope, coming my way.

In this space in this place where even if there's no closure, I am home in every way.

Home, a candle lit, turquoise room, where it smells like lavender, and peppermint essential oils, and where I can take off my clothes .

And if I have any enemies, then give me the strength to look the devil in the face

and make it home safe, only to make sure the aspiration growing and transforming inside of me sees better days.

That's the moment I realized what I am to my unborn child. It was a transformative gloomy day in Downtown Los Angeles.